St Mark's Lighthouse - Florida...March 2015
MiRV and I started our journey over thirty years ago...we met in 1982. We weren't even friends. In 1983 that changed, in 1984 we were engaged and in 1986 married. And as they say the rest is history. So here we are and it's 30 years later since that day. Can you say W-O-W?
I won't say I didn't think this day would come but really you don't give much thought to these milestones when you are saying "I do". Of course, I firmly believe in the "until death do us part" part. And certainly we have had our ups and downs, happiness and sadness, rewards and disappointments, we have had to work through issues, we still work hard at our marriage...every day. It is ongoing; it is a choice. Marriage is not maintenance free, there is definitely upkeep, everyday really. If you do not keep up your marriage, I can promise you it will get away from you and there could be serious suffering.
I will be the first to tell you we are not always living the dream (GASP) or the happily ever after that you might think. Some would say that we tend to present that image. I would argue that you see what you choose to see. I also think we make a conscious choice to NOT air our dirty laundry so to speak. Have we discussed, in limited talk, our marriage with others? Sure, but I think we wisely guard our words. We were given good advice early on that spewing words of anger or disappointment to others is not something you should do with others...unless of course you rented their ears (professional counseling). Therefore, there are very, VERY few people you can or should confide in who will be able to let go of what you say when things have righted in your world. That person who you shared your moment of anger with just doesn't forget what you told them and sometimes there can be tension in the aftermath. It's just not a good idea to abundantly "share" about the your marital life so be careful who you chat with when you are spun up. For certain there might be a very good friend who can handle it but I still would be cautious and hesitant to recommend it.
MiRVs first look at our daughter - OKC...March 1991
Our first look at our granddaughter - NE...March 2016
It is good that our lives our enriched with additions. We are thrilled to have so many family and friends who play such a crucial role in our lives. We know it is much better living life with others and we have a wonderful groups of "others" who love and inspire us, who hold us accountable, who encourage and love on us. We are blessed no doubt. We pray that our daughter continues to grow roots in her community and finds those others to do and enjoy life with to team up with to make memories to get through the good, the bad and the ugly.
The other crucial KEY factor in reaching this mark, I believe, is our faith. I won't even be so bold as to say our "strong" faith because there were (still are) days we felt our faith waiver. We have had our moments of crisis (still do). However, if we would not have had what I call a solid foundation and relationship with Jesus I feel we could have been in trouble. He has sustained and encouraged us in hard times, sad times. He is faithful, even when we are not. We are Christ followers and know without a doubt this is an integral part of any part of our successful marriage. I would not even want to speculate where we would be without Jesus. I am thrilled to have done life with MiRV these last 30 years and look forward to many more years together. Life is good, not easy, not perfect, not without struggles but it IS good!
Union Covered Bridge - Missouri back road...May 2016